Hey, I hope you all had a better weekend than I did.
I had planned for the weekend to be really nice, I had passed my tests for my new job on friday so I was looking forward to relaxing. On saturday me and my fella went to Ikea and he treated me to my first helmer, I got a red one and was so excited, I feel like I'm a proper full-on nail polish addict now I have a Helmer. :-)
I think I'll probably fill it up straight away with all the polish I've got, and that I'll get my second Helmer with my first pay cheque when I start work. Anyway, after Ikea we went shopping and came home and cooked some really nice pasta with a blue cheese sauce. We stayed up, watched some telly and went to bed quite late at 3am, I was so tired so I was out like a light.
So I woke up on Sunday looking forward to building my Helmer and doing some other D.I.Y stuff, I go downstairs all happy, but then see our back door is wide open, I have a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach and realise we've been burgled in the night.
They took laptops, phones and a camera, we were lucky we'd taken some things upstairs otherwise they would've gone too, like the laptop I'm writing this post on, but they stole the old laptop I used to keep all my photos on, so that's all the photos I'd taken for my blog that weren't edited yet, but worst still, it had all my art work on from my Masters degree, some of it's backed up, but because it was faulty it was tricky to back stuff up off it, and I've now lost all that work.
I have to say I'm gutted, I've lost so many precious photos, and all the thieves got was an old tatty and broken mac, needless to say from now on I'll be backing things up three times over when I get a new laptop for my photography, at least when my mac was working I had backed a lot of stuff up, but hey ho, you live and learn.
One thing that has come out of this is my desire to make art again, at one point I thought I might've lost all my digital artwork, and I was crushed, but I did think to myself that I could just use it as an excuse to redo my art projects when I have the money. I had lost my confidence in my art, and maybe this is just what I need to get my artist's mojo back. I've spent the last two years hiding away from the world and close friends I once knew, as I felt ashamed to be me, I've not been the person that I know I can be, and when I've needed help I've not asked for it. I thought that they might laugh at me, or be disappointed with me being too scared to do anything in case I failed. I know that it's so silly to think that, and it's just stupid chemicals in my head messing me around, but sometimes it's really hard to ignore that little voice in your head that tell's you that you're useless. I just hope that when I explain to my friends how I've been feeling they'll understand and welcome me back into their world with open arms as I really miss them.
So, I've decided, I'm not gonna let the loss of something so precious get to me, I will make something that's even better to replace what's been lost, and I hope you'll be with me for the journey as hopefully I'm gonna kick ass. :-)
Thanks for reading this little train of thought essay, I just need to get this out, this blog has been one of the things keeping me sane and has helped me on my journey towards rediscovering who I am,
Cheerio for now,
P.S I will be showing you the best polish ever soon, luckily the last swatches I did with my camera before it got stolen were on my usb stick, so while I sort out a new camera I've got a couple of days worth of posts to tide me over. :-)